all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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