Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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