I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You are the jesus of drinking
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
