I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
