absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
