Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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