But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
