lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
