redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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