You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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