Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
