I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
