I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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