ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
