It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
