I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize