Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dicks are not precious.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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