You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
