Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
