I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
