You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am one with the molecules
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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