We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
