Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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