Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I will die if light touches me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
