i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
soo... how was my night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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