This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
