Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
