Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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