If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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