You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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