No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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