found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
