Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
