why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
