Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
