the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
