Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
