God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We have started to decorate penises.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
