he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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