question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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