He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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