so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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