it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
