I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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