weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
that is very illegal...i love you.
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