Are we in a gay sports bar?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
