I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
