Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
