I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
