i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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