How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
