bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
