his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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