literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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