I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
