those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
