he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
