she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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