hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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